While you can play one-on-one and only use one category of cards (e.g the heart cards over dinner), The Game is designed to be played in a small group. 

Ideally you would create a comfortable space on the ground, with plenty of cushions or a sofa, or take the game into a garden or the park.

There are four categories of cards and a stop card:


Invitations to answer verbal questions (you can choose to only use these if e.g playing over dinner).


Invitations that involve connecting physically. 


Playful, theatrical invitations.


Invitations to slow down and enjoy a moment of integration. These cards can be used to begin and end the game and whenever needed.


Any player can use this card at any point to decline an invitation, for whatever reason.




1) No one does anything they don’t want to do

2) YOU make up the rules!


Seriously, there are many different ways you can play…



1) Get everyone to shuffle the cards for a moment, scatter them on a surface, face down.  

2) Someone volunteers to pick up the first breather/butterfly card to begin the game.

3) After this, take turns to pick any card, one person at a time and see if you want to follow the invitation on the card or choose a different one. What feels interesting to you or the group? If it induces anxiousness or boredom, maybe it’s not the right card!

Remember the “goal” of the game is connection. So stay in communication, and the group (or whoevers turn it is to choose) can adapt each invitation in whatever way feels right.

You can just see the cards as prompts to facilitate deeper conversations, playful moments and more intimacy, rather the rigid instructions you need to follow.

4) The game ends when it feels like it’s time to bring things to a close.


In cases where including all the cards in the game would not be appropriate for a certain group of people, the host can select cards in advance that they feel would fit with the group.


Place one verbal card on each place at a dinner and invite your guests to choose a moment to ask the someone their question at some point during the evening.